What Different About Four?

So, is it different having four? Is it harder with four? What’s it like having four? Are you done? The most common questions I’ve been asked since having my fourth child. All basically the same question. How has having four changed my life?

First off, yes, it is different having four, because, obviously, there is one more, so it’s different. Is the fourth child different, yes, because every child is different.

Is it harder with four? Yes, and, no. Four has a different set of challenges than 3, so currently, it’s harder than it was a year ago. However, it’s easier than it was 4 years ago when my third came along. There’s some significant family differences that make this the case.

My oldest three are 2.5 years apart each, meaning, when my third child was born, my oldest was just 5 and my middle was 2.5. So I had a brand new kindergartner, a toddler, and an infant. I was honestly a model parent until my third came along. Whether it’s because he’s a boy or just the combo of child, toddler, infant, is tough, I’m not sure. But with him, model parenting went out the window.

For example – my 4yr old waltzed through Target today in his socks (and I was lucky he had those on) because his feet were “too itchy” after football practice. Two children ago, those shoes would have been on the feet. Now, I’m like, it’s not wet out, it’s not cold out, and his feet won’t get dirty, so let’s just roll with the socks.

The distance between my kids is different. My youngest is 4 years younger than the sibling above him, so I have no toddlers. Now, I have 3 children and 1 infant. My oldest is 9 and loves to help with the baby. The 6yr old and 4yr old help as much as they can as well. I am dragging the infant along to every dance practice, every football game, and every activity (kid and adult). Luckily, he’s super laid back and actually loves all the activity. Doing all this with an infant is more challenging than without, but it’s also way less challenging than life was with a young child, toddler, and infant.

You have to realize, he’s the only child I have to buckle in the car. Everyone else does their own buckling. That’s about 20 minutes less time I spend getting in the car, compared to 4 years ago when my third child was born and I was buckling everyone myself.

All that to say. Adding the fourth was not harder than adding the third. My third child has been my hardest baby so far. But this is mostly due to other sibling’s ages and has little to do with the baby.

What’s it like having four? It’s awesome. We have so much fun. The baby is never bored – actually, except for this week of fall break. We stayed home one whole entire day and he didn’t know what to do with himself. He’ll literally sleep anywhere – except his crib in the middle of the day.

With sibling to entertain him, I still get to do important mommy things like shower alone, and eat lunch (most of the time). And with only him keeping me up at night (except for my husband when he snores), I am actually able to get a reasonable amount of sleep – and I can get a nap when needed. “If you disturb me, you’re taking a nap too” is a great way to ensure that children play quietly so I can nap. Because, no matter how tired a child is, they do not want a nap.

And with a 9 and 6 year old, I have someone to talk to during the day – you know, actual conversation. So my postpartum emotions haven’t been too bad this time. Not that mine were ever that bad, but this one is the best so far.

Are you done? Um, I’m sleep deprived, still physically recovering, experiencing postpartum emotions, the post pregnancy hair loss is starting (pretty sure this is my least favorite part about postpartum recovery), and I’m trying to figure out how to get my stomach back in shape for a wedding I’m attending in the spring. No, I’m never, ever, having another child. Honestly, give me about a year and then ask, because I might look like I have it all together right now, but I’m really just taking it one day at a time and hoping that most of them work out for us.

My Crazy, Busy, Too Short, Summer

So, I honestly had planned to write more over the summer. But, it was simply a crazy summer and there was no time. I’ll go into more details in later posts but here’s the highlights:

  1. Hubby was traveling, a lot. He has customers out of state and had to do quite a bit of traveling for work this year. I don’t mind the short trips, but there was this one trip where he was gone for a week, back for a day, and gone for another week. That was tough on the kids especially. We actually settle into a different routine before he gets back and then we have to create a new routine all over again.
  2. We sold our rental house. With 3, soon to be 4 kids and hubby traveling, it was simply too difficult for me to manage a rental on my own. Plus, it’s just not my thing. So we sold it – to a very picky buyer. It’s a sellers market around here and I literally spent two months of my summer tracking down contractors, plumbers, electricians, termite inspectors, etc. Not exactly how I planned to spend my summer. Also, fun story, we had our first buyer fall through and while I thought it was going to be a few days before the house went back on the market, it went back on right away, so I’m driving with the kids (hubby was out of town and my sister was working at the beach for the summer) to the beach and I’m getting all these e-mails from my realtor with all these offers (remember, it’s a seller’s market) for the house. I actually let one offer go without even looking at it because I was driving and had no way to actually read it and then talk to hubby (because he’s in a different time zone working) before the deadline for the offer expired. Frustrating!
  3. I had a baby, actually, I had a baby last week, so at the end of summer. Which means that I was pregnant all summer. Talk about hormones and just being pregnant being in the way a bit. Luckily after the first trimester my pregnancies are about as good as a pregnancy can be, but still, I wouldn’t have planned all this to go along with a pregnancy. I had visions of sitting in the pool all summer…
  4. We actually did join a community pool this summer. My 6yr old learned how to jump off the diving board, and my 9yr old is all about the handstands. The 4yr old just paddles around in his puddle jumper, and life is great.
  5. My mom was diagnosed with lung and thyroid cancer. Back to very busy summer with lots going on at once. I did manage to go up there and visit, around all the existing craziness. She has some great doctors who are optimistic about her recovery. Of course, she’s getting ready to start isotopes treatments right before the holidays this year, which is kind of sad. Once she starts those she won’t be able to be around kids for a while (because she’s radioactive enough to hurt the kids).
  6. Speaking of visits, I did take all 3 kids to the beach by myself. At 8, 6, and 4 they weren’t that hard to manage at the beach, but an 8hr car ride with me being the only driver is rather tiresome. Throw in some construction, mountains, and a few storms and let’s say I’m not really wanting to do that drive again any time soon. I also managed to get them all sunburnt the first day – whoops – and loose my son at a strip mall. And we ate lots of ice cream and I introduced the kids to putt putt golf for the first time. So much fun!

All in all. It was a summer way more packed with emotions, events, travel, and family things than I had planned. And there’s lots of things about this summer that I hope to never repeat. However, we did still have a great summer, and I learned lots of things about myself and my family.

Baby Updates

baby

First things first. We went in for our gender ultrasound, and we’re having another boy. We’ll be at 2 girls and 2 boys when he arrives. A perfect set, in my opinion.

I’m at 25 weeks so honestly just starting to get ready for the baby. There’s no rush since I’m not even quite into my 3rd trimester yet. However, there are some things that are quite fun about having a 4th.

  1. He already has a nickname – The kids have decided to call him “Turtle” because they say he looks like a turtle in his ultrasound pictures. So, it’s Turtle this, Turtle that, and can I give Turtle a kiss and hug goodnight? Super sweet.
  2. The kids are ready to play – I’m afraid they’re going to be a bit disappointed at first. My 3yr old (son) has so sweetly requested to be allowed to punch his baby brother – right after giving “Turtle” a hug. I told him that wasn’t going to work out at the moment and that he’ll be able to play with his brother soon. My 8yr old is more realistic and can’t wait to hold the baby.
  3. They’re already discussing the baby with friends – My 3yr old has informed me that one of his preschool friends has a baby sister who is out already and that he’ll be glad when his baby brother is out too. It’s like some sort of competition in the preschool class… My 8yr old did a presentation at school about her upcoming baby brother. I did warn the teacher ahead of time so she was prepared to interrupt if the presentation started to go beyond what she was comfortable with in a class of 3rd graders. Luckily, my daughter was mostly interested in how much fun she’s going to have with a new baby and other topics weren’t discussed.
  4. I don’t get to pick the room decorations – My 3yr old is so excited to have someone to share his room with. He caught me browsing Amazon for baby sheets and crib supplies and we now have an entire “Cars” themed room picked out for both of them.
  5. Nothing is assembled – Speaking of decorations. I’m 25 weeks and the crib is still in the garage and I haven’t purchased any decorations, diapers, etc. I do have clothing but it’s still in a bin in the garage. I have a bassinet so the crib doesn’t have to be assembled before the baby arrives. And I do have a pile of t-shirts out for him. Since he’s due in August, that’s about all I’ll need anyways. I just need to pick out my carset and I’m set.

What my Kids think of the New Baby

I have 3 children and while they each are super excited that we’re having another baby – they’ve been asking for one for basically forever – their responses have all been different. I can’t wait to see what they all think once the baby is here!

First. Here’s what they all have in common. They want a boy. We’re going to have to find out gender just in case this baby is a girl so they can get over the disappointment before the baby arrives. Though, they seem to have varying reasons for wanting the baby to be a boy.

Oldest –

My oldest is 8 and is super excited to have a baby to “take care of”. She was almost 5 when our youngest was born so I’m pretty sure she doesn’t exactly know what this means. However, she’s old enough to be quite a bit of help and I think she’ll actually enjoy the baby, since she loves babies.

She wants me to have a boy so things will be even. We’ll have 2 girls and 2 boys and everyone will have someone to play with. Honestly, she’s just excited about a baby and she’ll be happy either way. Thanks to her, basically every checkout clerk in the city now knows that I’m pregnant!

Middle –

My middle child is super sweet but is a bit more shy around babies. I think she’ll do just fine with a baby sibling. She’s excited, and likes to give the baby (my stomach) kisses. Just wait until the baby can kick hard enough for her to feel it. She’ll most likely be glued to my side from that moment on.

She wants a boy because she wants to remain my “baby girl”. Which is my nickname for her. I assured her that she can keep the nickname regardless of the baby’s gender, but I don’t think she’s convinced. She tries to pretend that she just wants her brother to have someone to play with, but she really just wants to be the youngest girl. It’s tough being the middle child, so I understand her wanting to hold on to the baby girl spot.

Youngest –

He’s 3 and knows basically nothing about babies. He has grand plans of the baby playing with his toys and hanging out in his room to play every night. Being the only boy, he has his own room and isn’t happy about it. He hears his sisters chattering and playing at bedtime and he wants a bedtime buddy.

I’ve assured him that the baby can be in his room – actually, in a 3 bedroom house, the baby kinda has to share a room with him – and he’s super excited. He wants a brother so he has someone to play cars and super heroes with. He has no idea what sharing a room with a baby will be like. I’m not certain he’ll be happy at first but once the baby starts getting more playful he’ll be so happy to have a playmate. The trick will be keeping him from handing small objects to the baby.

I want to know. What did your kids think when you announced an upcoming baby?

Tips for Dealing with Morning Sickness

I’m currently pregnant with my 4th child and “enjoying” all the 1st trimester joys of morning sickness. Luckily for me, my morning sickness (all day sickness) is only in the 1st trimester. I’m not sure what would happen in my house if it lasted any longer.

As I’m lying on the couch sick, I comfort myself with the fact that morning sickness is a good sign. Or it’s supposed to be. It means my baby is busy growing (i.e. making me sick). Doesn’t make me actually feel any better. It’s just nice to know.

With 3 kids and a pretty full schedule, I do often have to just muscle through the nausea, back pain, and exhaustion.

Though, by 4 I have gotten a little better at just rolling with it. If you’re struggling with morning sickness, here’s a few things that might help.

1. Find a good prenatal vitamin – I don’t mean find the one with the most iron or the biggest pill you can find. Find something that your body can stomach, and that actually helps you. I really struggle with this. I need a vitamin without iron and have you seen the amount of iron is most prenatal vitamins! I’ve resorted to taking children’s vitamins every couple of days because that was all I could handle.

Finally, after my 3rd pregnancy I discovered Premama Vitamins. They also have vitamins for fertility and lactation. You can get a flavorless powder that you mix in any drink (juice is recommended, I tried it in a carbonated beverage once and it foamed up and bubbled out of the cup and all over the counter!). Or you can get a citrus flavored powder.

Either one works great. It has all your folic acid, DHA, etc. and while it has some iron, it doesn’t have a ton. Plus, my morning sickness is actually less when I’m taking it. It’s the only prenatal vitamin I’ver ever taken that has helped me feel better.

This might not be the one for you, but if you’re struggling like I was because prenatal vitamins were so hard on my stomach, you should give this one a try. It’s making handling my morning sickness so much easier!

They’re available on Amazon and in most drug stores like CVS and Walgreens.

img_20160702_1822212702. Rest – I know you want to keep getting everything done. But listen to your body and get some extra sleep. I always have oodles of energy in the 2nd trimester to make up for my exhaustion 1st trimester.

A good prenatal vitamin can help some with the exhaustion. But, listen to your body and get some extra rest. And don’t feel bad about your messy house. You are growing a baby.

I find that taking some time during the day to just sit helps a lot. I’ll read a book, answer e-mails, work on my blog, etc. Anything that’s non-stressful. But just stopping and sitting for a few minutes here and there really helps.

3. Ginger, Lemon, Citrus – All 3 are great for helping settle an upset stomach. For me, Ice water with lemon is super helpful. Helps me stay hydrated and the lemon helps settle my stomach a bit.

I also like a ginger tea. It’s nice and warm and also helps me stay hydrated. You can get ginger chews as well if you’re not a fan of tea.

Oranges are great for digestion. Plus they have vitamin C and some fiber. You really can’t go wrong with these. Get the little mini oranges and you’ll have something perfect for a midnight snack or really a snack any time you’re needing a little something.

img_20160801_1224452474. Pace your eating – Take your time. You’ll do better if you don’t eat random large meals. Start your morning with a few crackers by your bed, make a cup of tea, etc. Something small. Then move on to breakfast. Oatmeal or something else easy on my stomach is my preference.

Keep healthy snacks on hand like celery sticks, peanut butter, cheese, or fruit. And snack on something good for you when you start feeling a little hungry. You might not eat as large a lunch or dinner as you did pre pregnancy because you’re snacking. Don’t worry about it. You honestly don’t need many extra calories the first trimester. Just focus on eating small meals with foods that are good for you.

And remember, there’s a tiny human growing inside you. Your body is working hard. So, don’t feel bad about taking it easy and listening to what your body needs.

Caring for Myself in My First Trimester

Aside from the actual delivery. First Trimester is by far my least favorite part of pregnancy. I have morning sickness – really all day sickness – from about 4 weeks until week 13. And with 3 kids, homeschooling, and a small business, keeping up while I’m sick is a challenge to say the least.

This is my 4th pregnancy, and if there’s anything that I’ve learned about my first trimester it’s to give myself permission to just take it easy.

Here’s just a few ways I take care of myself – and of course the new little baby – during my first trimester.

  1. Extra Sleep – Something about the hormones, I’m way more tired than normal. As in 10 hours of sleep at night and a nap tired. Of course, the more tired I am, the more sick I feel, so if I want to get anything done, I do actually need to sleep. And, technically, I’m sleeping for me and the baby, and everyone knows that babies need lots of sleep.
  2. Special Snacks – Another fun thing about the first trimester. I’m hungry all the time. Because I get less sick if I perpetually snack (rather than eat all my food in 3 meals a day) I do go ahead and purchase snacks that I’m craving. This pregnancy I’m craving oranges and avocados (eaten separately), both snacks that are definitely good for me. I’m not actually craving any unhealthy snacks this time around (one pregnancy it was krispy kreme doughnuts) so I’m pretty much allowing myself to snack as much as I want on what I want. I do limit the unhealthy snacking to my normal snacking limits. It’s important to eat well.
  3. Frequent Snacking – I feel better if I snack frequently. So I keep nuts and/or granola bars in the car for when I need a snack while on the go. What I have depends on how many of my snacks my kids “stole”. My kids just love all this extra snacking! Normally, I don’t do this, but, in the interest of feeling well, it’s good for me to do.
  4. Relaxing – I like to be on the go and I like to be busy. I also really want to rearrange the kids bedrooms. But all that stuff is going to have to wait until the second trimester when I have the energy to do it. I do manage to keep the house picked up – most of the time – which I think is pretty good with 3 kids. I constantly have to remind myself that it’s perfectly ok to take a break and finish the laundry tomorrow (guess what I didn’t finish today). A lot of times relaxing just means that I’m sitting down working on my blog, catching up on e-mails, or reading a book. Just something that lets my body rest.
  5. Vitamins – For some reason I don’t handle multivitamins very well. They make me sick. So, combine morning sickness with prenatal vitamins making me sick, and well, let’s just say that every pregnancy so far I’ve just given up on the vitamins. Whenever I discover a new prenatal vitamin I try it out for a week (even when I’m not pregnant) just to see how I handle it, and it never goes well. This time around I found a brand called Premama that actually works for me. Horray. It does actually help some with the morning sickness and energy. So I’m finally able to get those extra vitamins that I’m supposed to have without making myself sick.
  6. Pregnancy Brain – So I explained the concept of pregnancy brain to my 8 and 5 year old. I was having a really bad day forgetting things. And now, I’ve basically been given a pass to forget any and everything the entire time I’m pregnant. If you have kids, I highly recommend you do this. It’s honestly a great way to get away with things and have them be ok with it.

So, Mommas, tell me in the comments below, what are some special things you’ve done for yourself during your pregnancy? Or tell me about your favorite food craving?

This #BloggersTalkingAbout series features amazing bloggers writing from the heart. Continue reading more by following these links. Loving Yourself by Joanne | Loving Yourself This Valentine’s Day by Traci | New Routine & New Doctor by Karen | Care For Yourself By Reducing Anxiety & Worry by Karen | Permission To Cry by Brandy | Caring For Myself In My First Trimester by Jenny. If you’re a mom/female blogger, join us in our group, Bodacious Bloggers